Food for thought

My first topic is a subject that strikes everyone's interest; there should be absolutely no exception. Desire is a difficult trait to have. It causes selfishness, quarrels, greed, and the inability to satisfy oneself.

Last week, we planned a highly detailed surprise party for my aunt's 50th birthday. The reason for the details was that we were designing the theme to be an Italian restaurant, complete with menus, kitchen staff, server, and chef, all accordingly dressed in matching uniforms of black pants and white shirts. The chef was even dressed in an authentic jacket and toge. Using my mom's fine china, our servers delivered savory dishes and decadent desserts, even stopping to top off water glasses and bringing out our finest bottles of sparkling grape juice. The party was a success, and it was a blast to run, in fact.

During moments like these, I often stop and reflect about what is most important to people. I don't mean "my family and friends." Rather, what kind of legacy do we desire? After all, that's what most people are looking to acquire, regardless of the means. Recently, I look at the blogs of so many friends and I notice more and more frequently how they write about the 'steps' that they are currently taking in life and where these steps will lead them.,which sounds rather like the glorious speeches made during a high school graduation ceremony. What my main concern is, is how will I be able to take it with me? We all die, and after a good... oh, 70 years of desiring things like bigger houses, fancy careers and money, what are we going to do with all of it?

More often than I used to, I often stop and think of what it might be like to have such things: a nice, big house, my dream career, and sufficient money to purchase more things to fill that nice house. Here's how it would probably go: After a long day at the office, trying to design magazines for things that I had no interest in and sitting through meetings discussing the upcoming assignments for even more jobs of designing advertisements and layouts of products that I'm not interested in, I come home to my husband, who's watching the television or playing some video game in the living room. My chihuahuas come barking and prancing about, wagging their tails. My husband greets me, and we talk of the days events. I have a nice house full of gorgeous furniture, quite the look of a picture in a home making magazine. With the exception of the little black fuzzies all over the carpet from my husband's socks, and the pile of junk mail laying on the coffee table that's covered with water rings because both of us have been too tired to clean due to our demanding jobs. The entertainment center direly needs dusting. I go to the kitchen and there are crumbs on the counter and soup stains on the kitchen table from this morning's meal preparations. On the weekend I go out with my friends and see a fabulous new flatscreen television; but what's the point in buying it if we have a perfectly good dusty tv set sitting at home? Moreover, what will we do with our perfectly good tv set sitting at home once we've installed the bigger better tv?

Nowadays, if your house is messy and doesn't look like it has the potential for being a charming little home, you opt to disregard it and look for a new house. Nowadays, if you see that your best friend has a job that's making more money and you see her constantly in glamorous clothes, you want a better job than the one you have now where you go to work in khaki slacks and tennis shoes because you're too lazy to spruce yourself up. Bigger, better things equals a happier life. These are the 'steps' you take in life, and they continue because you will never be satisfied with what you have.

I have a relative who tours the globe with a famous band. I've seen how this relative seems to feel after these 'glamorous' tours with the stars. I don't want that job, either. Is the money worth it? Probably not. What satisfaction is there in going home to your sweet and loving.... appliances?

As for a life of partying, after getting drunk with your friends, up next comes that totally gnarly adventure of the next day's hangover, and then being sick for days. All this partying is constant, until you and your friends run out of things to talk about, only to find that you're bored with this life, spending your money trying to find other, hopefully more exciting adventures to have that lead only to even worse repercussions.... so much for 'living a little.'

How do these fancy things better us as individuals? They may be nice to have; I'm already planning a trip to the mall this week for a new pair of nice heels to add to my wardrobe. But clothes don't make the person. The career doesn't make the person. Opening your fancy home to your friends for tea and showing off your nice material things does not make a person.

"We're here today in rememberance of Jane Smith. To everyone, she was a woman who had a very nice living room suit. She was always so loving and attentive to her fine china. We will also remember her as a stunning career woman, who always made lots of money and worked long hours."

What kind of memory do we want? As I contemplate more and more on the absurdity of the need to sate such desires, it makes me wonder more and more.... what kind of legacy is it that I want?

My conclusion is that a memory of warmth and happiness, surrounded by friends, helping others, is of much more value than a memory of a warm and happy luxury sedan. The sedan will get old and dirty; the happy time of friends and family still make you laugh and smile just as much as that same shining moment. Everyone wants to be remembered somehow, and I think it's safe to say that they probably won't remember you for your Coach handbag.

When Jesus was speaking to thousands of people who had gathered, he told the story of the rich fool (Luke 12:13-21.) The rich fool built large barns and stored lots of food and goods. It was this rich fool who said "eat, drink and be merry." Jesus went on to explain in the parable that God said to him "You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you! Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?!"

Moreover, what will those who get what you have prepared for yourself receive? During this time, my life is happening, as well as everyone else's. At any moment, I could be taken. What fine things will serve me? How will those who inherit my things remember me? Will it be by my nice coffee table?

I don't want my life to measure up to a gourmet pot and pan set. I don't want to be remembered by a luxury comforter, or my shoe collection. The superficiality of measuring your worth by the amount of material things you possess is spreading like a disease throughout the entire world. What good is my success as a career person, if the memory of those who knew me in any way is just an image of a mannequin and not much else?

A much more valuable legacy, and one that people are trying much harder to ignore, is that of the love and kindness that you showed for others. So many people are trying to satisfy their own situations so quickly that life passes them by before they know it, and they have nothing to show for it but their Colonials. Where did the rest of the memories go?

JFK said "ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country." I feel that the same applies to your own world; that is, the people who are important to you. If you don't think that those experiences matter, you may need to reconsider.

This is not to say that you need to give up all of your possessions and live a poor life. This is not to say that you have to neglect yourself. But if you're evaluating your life by the material things you have, you may be wasting your time more than you believe. If you're willing, try this experiment: whatever free time you have, plan it so that you can do something good for someone else. It doesn't have to be volunteering at the local soup kitchen, or making a donation. It can be something as fun as planning a special surprise party for a friend or family member, or taking out a saddened friend on a specially planned themed outing. Or, you could do something related to your talents and skills; for example, create a piece of artwork and donate it to a special cause that you support. Try this, and continue doing so for at least a month or two. In the end, take some time to think about the feeling it gives you and compare with your daily life that is centered upon your needs and desires. Does it feel more satisfying than the time you take on yourself? How do you feel that you can grow as a person by doing such things?

When Peter, the apostle of Christ Jesus, wrote one of his letters, he made sure to give these instructions: "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in various forms" (1 Peter 4:10.) Paul, another desciple and author of much of the new testament, also said "Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others" (1 Corinthians 10:24.)

My friends, do not weigh yourself by your accomplishments in regards to all of the material things you have acquired. Each and every one of you is worth much more than that. If you concentrate too much on yourself, this only feeds your selfishness, and this will continue to consume you to the point of no satisfaction. Allow your value and spiritual wealth to increase; build a legacy that people will be proud to remember you by. This is the potential that you have, and this is something that will be much more special to those who knew and loved you. If anything, just as John Tesh said, "what an incredible life [you] will have tried to live."